There was a fucking cocksucker with a god damn mustache wandering around in the lobby of my office building this morning and when I walked by him he totally copped a stare at my junk. It really caught me off guard, to the point were I immediately thought my unit must be flailing about outside of my penis cage. I really hoped that Mr. Weinis wasn’t out and about especially after I just drew that smiley face on him to add character. Then I started thinking about how gross Swamp Thing’s dick was in 1989’s The Return of Swamp Thing. Do you remember that? It was a nasty, whitish, dildo-esque thing that Swamp Thing could snap off, he fucked Heather Locklear with it which is pretty cool (meaning that fucking Heather Locklear is cool (particularly 1989 Heather Locklear (even though 21st century Heather Locklear is pretty hot)) not having a dick that you disengage from your body, because that’s totally not cool) What’s even better and a little ironic given that I’m talking about Swamp Thing’s dick is that the actor who played Swamp Thing is named Dick Durock. What a sweet name! Dick Durock… I hope he got to fuck Heather Locklear for real, with such a sweet name he deserves it. Before I knew it I was in the elevator. Looking in the mirrored wall of the elevator I realized that my hog wasn’t hanging out. I’m glad my hog wasn’t hanging out since my hands were full and I wouldn’t have an easy way of tucking my hog back into my hog-pen. I hope that mustachioed sleaze bag gets run over today. Better yet I hope he runs into Dick Durock and Dick Durock fucks him with his snap off cock. You’ll get your comeuppance cocksucker, I swear it!

hog

Wow. This is pretty fucking awesome. There’s a chance you’ve read about this story already and there’s also a chance that the story is an utter fabrication given that 98% of the information traveling the information superhighway (that’s the interweb, bitches) is fictitious. I hope it’s legitimate though because I want more than anything for someone this hardcore to be at large in the US.

This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University it was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fuck you!".

Then he turned to his bride and said, "Fuck you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded
crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man 's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

Revenge and spite are far and away the bestest of human motivations.