So instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour last night like a good little boy I ended up staying out 'til just past 5am partaking in various nefarious acts but mostly just drinking my ass off. I know, I know, it was a school night but fuck it I didn't really go out this past weekend so I was due. Part of the evening saw me hanging out at a bar which catered to the "punk" crowd and included seeing two live shows by punk groups. While I'm not necessarily into punk music I won't bash it since I accept the notion that people have different tastes. The first group that began playing all wore plastic masks that resembled the bat boy from the Weekly World News. I can't recall the name of the group nor could I decipher a single lyric in the songs, to my untrained ears it just sounded like screaming in cadence. The group went through about 5 songs in 30 minutes and then left the stage. I thought they were taking a set break but immediately after they left the stage another group began playing in a small corner of the bar. This new group's sound was certainly more palatable to me, I could at least understand the lead singer. I was curious why this new band had started playing so I asked one of the many blackshirted clientele if it was customary for punk groups to play such short sets, the gentleman (who was very accommodating) explained that 30 minutes was actually a fairly long stretch of playing for a punk band and that he had often witnessed bands playing for as little as 5 minutes. Very interesting indeed… or perhaps not, I'm not entirely sure. The whole punk scene was something I really haven't witnessed before and to say I stood out like a sore thumb in the crowd would be an understatement. Picture me: pounding beers in a dress shirt, tie, and slacks amongst a hundred punk aficionados wearing black t-shirts and ripped jeans. I didn't quite fit in, however I didn't catch any dirty looks and no one pushed on me so despite our different tastes in music and dress the patrons of the punk bar remain safely out of my hatebox. That said, I was still keeping a keen eye out for shivs since I remain constantly aware of the Robb Report's A-Z guide to personal safety particularly X: "X Marks the Spot: You're the target…if you think someone's out to get you, he probably is" and Z: "Zero: That is how much fun you'll have if you're dead". In scanning the crowd and reviewing my "perceived threat level" I noticed something I found tremendously amusing, so amusing I scrawled it down on some paper just to be sure I remembered it. The note reads:

I just realized that my watch is worth more than all the clothes of every mother fucker in this establishment; with the obvious exception of the jimmy in the "I shot JR" t-shirt.

Whether it was true or not I'm not sure but I really had a good time laughing to myself about it in the corner; grunting in a false sense of superiority. I also made a note that someone had scribbled "fuck for peace" above the urinal in the men's lavatory, a statement that made me chortle and drip piss on my pant leg. Good times.