Sweet fancy Moses, Brit Brit! What would posses someone to look so fucked? (Particularly out in the public where every piece of shit with a phone-cam is trying to snap a picture of you) I'm going to go ahead and say that someone needs to put this bitch out of her misery. I can't take a shit anymore without hearing about yet another fucked up Britney Spears exploit and I think it's a subconscious cry for help from the one-time superstar. A cry that says, "kill me, please fucking kill me."

Go to the bathroom right now and take a shit. I don't care if you think you need to take a shit or not, just go in there and force one out. Why? Because you're about to watch this music video by none other than homosexual Olympiad Carl Lewis and if you haven't just shit you will most certainly be shitting your pants at the absolute purity of the ridiculousness of this garbage. I can't even decipher the message he's trying to get across in the lyrics as I'm far too mesmerized by the Arsenio-esque flat top and hot tub jaunt with old, large, sunglass wearing, bubble blowing, white women.

Oh shit! There you are, I didn't see you at first. Check this site out, yo! It's called Pornocha and it's certainly not "work safe" (whatever that means) but when you enter the Flash based site I promise you'll be greeted by the most wonderful theme/background music ever conceived for the aural delight of man. I'm warning you now, you'll be humming this shit for days or possibly even minutes!

Crackheads love crack, and who can blame them? Every crackhead you see seems to have a great time on the shit. Me, I'm not into crack. I'm not dissing crack, I'm sure it's the shit, it's just not my bag, dig? DVDs are my crack, I'm utterly addicted to purchasing them and I can't be stopped. I may actually need help, I'm to the point where I buy DVDs and don't ever watch them, how fucked is that? But I don't want any fucking help, I just want more DVDs.
One side effect of being a DVD junkie is that I tend to watch a lot of movies, go figure, right? So as I peruse the internet looking for release dates of DVDs I often stumble across movie trailers (that's what people "in the know" call movie previews, idiots). I watch these trailers because they get me excited about the movie's eventual release on DVD and my purchasing of the DVD (and maybe, God willing, a double-dip "special edition" of the DVD several months down the line). Recently, I've come across two movie trailers that I wanted to link to on the Deuce. I'm very excited about these future DVDs. They are Primer a science fiction movie that looks ridiculously intense despite very little info being passed on in the trailer and Unleashed a drama/martial arts flick which looks fucking incredible. The Unleashed trailer has been playing on my home computer non-stop for the last 2 weeks, that's how excited I am about this eventual DVD. Check both of them out, and don't be a fucking pussy and download the low quality versions either, for Primer you want the "Large/9.86MB" trailer and for Unleashed you want the "Quicktime HI" version.

Hugs and kisses,

-Johnny Deuce