Ha, ha, ha! Mother fucking Schlotsky's has filed for bankruptcy! Hallelujah on high mother fuckers! I hate the shit out of Schlotsky's and now sweet Justice is giving me the tongue bath I've been waiting years for. I've said for a long time that I'd one day toss a bomb in that fucking place but that would only have taken out one store, never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd live to see the day the whole franchise was ground into dust! Why do I hate Schlotsky's so much? I hate them because I've never had a sandwich there that I thought tasted worth a shit, I tried their classic sandwich and hated it and I tried numerous others on the menu and hated them more, the food is absolutely terrible for you from a health perspective, and I swear to God and sonny Jesus the assholes making the sandwiches were trying to fuck up my order each time I went into the fucking shit box. Fuck you to hell Schlotsky's! This fucking bankruptcy will probably end up dragging on ad infinitum but a slow painful death sounds very appealing to me. Ha, ha, mother fucker! This shit has been too long in coming! [spit]

I spent the past week at a conference in Austin. Yes, it was terrible. Yes, I'll go into more detail later this week. Yes, the syphilis has mostly cleared up and thank you for asking. I haven't posted in over a week and I wanted to get something online to satiate the masses (that's you), but it's too fucking hot in my office to do anything since the building AC is malfunctioning. It's hotter than a crotch in this mother fucker, and not regular Joe Six-pack crotch either, more like talk show material stuck inside a house obese woman crotch or bantha crotch. Il Duce pirated away the oscillating fan I had in my office and all this heat has lowered my metabolism to manatee-esque levels (that's right, I brought the beloved cow of the seas into this) and concentrating on anything more complex than my own breathing is taxing in the extreme but since I feel obligated to put something up I've scanned in various materials from the conference. Below you will find my nametag which caused quite an uproar since no one could figure out how I got it, I wanted to tell them that they were cowardice hoarding sheeple and just didn't know what buttons to push, instead I coyly told them that I had changed my name. Below that are the 4 pages of notes I took in various sessions during the conference, click on each image to open the full sized page. I implore any readers to comment on their favorite term in my notes.