Appreciate. It's wonderful people like this who go that extra mile and make the internet the wonderful place that it is.

I just finished watching Forrest Gump. I hadn't seen that movie in probably 5 or 6 years. However long it's been since I saw it last was apparently long enough for me to forget what a fucking prostitute Jenny was. That fucking retard was there for her whenever she needed him and yet she consistently told him to fuck off for 30 years. That retard did what she told him, gave her his meddle of honor, named the boats in his multimillion dollar shrimping industry after her, and he took care of her when she didn't have anywhere to turn. Furthermore, he never took advantage of her despite ample opportunities to do so which is a great feat in and of itself given how powerful retard lust can be. And what did Jenny do in return? She fucked everything she could find holding a crack pipe or heroin needle. Ungrateful bitch! Then she has the audacity to have Forrest's child, not tell him about it for 3 years, and propose marriage to Forrest after she's just told him that she's dying from a virus. Now, they never say what virus or disease she dies from but in keeping with the story it's the 80s and she's dying from a virus that the doctors don't understand. That's AIDS best I can tell. So this fucking whore is cracked out of her mind for 3 decades, fucking junkies and dogs and God knows what else while Forrest is waiting for her. The bitch shows up just in time to presumably infect Forrest with HIV and most certainly their child, and then die from the slims. Leaving the retard to a life of loneliness where he gets to watch his only child, "the most beautiful thing [he's] ever seen" die from AIDS and then slowly waste away himself. Absolutely terrible. I haven't felt that violated since I caught Charley Kranston fucking my sisters giant, stuffed Winnie the Pooh in 6th grade.

In the interests of keeping all concerned parties informed regarding the denial of service attack perpetrated against the Deuce Goose two days ago, I'll release the statement that all current evidence points to the originator(s) of the attack coming from the Mary Lou Retton camp. The moral here? Never trust a fucking Olympian. While no substantial facts have unearthed themselves I will let it be known that the Deuce Goose will see that show-boating bitch brought to justice! For you, for me, for all the free peoples of the Big Funky, this atrocity will not stand!

"I just had two million dollar ideas!
One, you make a kolache but instead of sausage in the middle you put cookies and cream icecream.
Two, you make a kolache but instead of sausage in the middle you put another kolache."

-Lucas, sharing his infinite creativty

Big News! Yesterday afternoon The Deuce Goose was hit with a DOS or Denial of Service attack. In a denial of service attack a hacker or group of hackers attempts to disrupt access to a website by flooding the website with requests trying to bring the web server to its knees. These types of attacks are common on the internet although they are generally directed at much larger corporations such as Microsoft or SCO as in the recent MyDoom worm that infected the internet in the last few weeks. My web host contacted me yesterday to let me know about the attack and that they will be pursuing the attackers to the full extent of the law. I can't tell you how honored am that someone would find The Deuce Goose so offensive as to mount this attack. In internet speak this was the equivalent of an assassination attempt, and we all know how much I lust for assassination attempts. Welcome to the big time boys and girls! I feel invigorated.