It may not be more embarrassing to be caught fucking than the love lump, but fuck me this looks stupid. "Healthy, Clean, Pleasurable", those are the fucking selling points of this thing!? My fucking hand is healthy, clean, and pleasurable, plus it's free and clean-up is just a lick away. Another selling point of the machine: "The Ijaculater is effective because you can just turn it on and relax". Right... I'm going to relax while a robot hell-bent on world domination has a vice grip on my dick, I don't think so bitches. Here's a suggestion. You want me to fuck something? Don't make it look like a Pringles can strapped to a mechanical bull. And what a stupid fucking name! Ijaculator? Please... come up with something better than that! I'll even throw out some shit off the top of my head, feel free to comment on your own.

Cock Pleaser
Jerk Off Machine Super Burger King Awesome
Pleasure Tube
Poison Remover
Jinga

Postscript: When you're checking out the site and it's awesome Flash animations be sure to check out the "Instructions For Use" and "Ijaculater in Action" sections.