Brit Brit got married. [crickets chirping] I give this union a maximum of 2 years before a super cracked out, smacked up Britney is divorced by her Baryshnikov wannabe, dancer hubby. In an effort to do all the hard work for you, my faithful readers, I've already run the newlyweds names through the Porn Name Generator so you can address all your wedding gifts to Mr. Huge Velvet (alias Hans Offvanschafter) and Mrs. Deedee Wide (alias Pussje in den Wijnckel). To quote my good friends who don't know me at Defamer: "May the child that will soon follow grow fat and happy on a diet of mashed Cheetos and Red Bull, and may angels merrily dance in the background of its dreams."