Last evening I was out with a few members of my Big Funky Brain Trust (BFBT) playing shuffleboard. Hooter and I were chatting it up. I remarked that were I a girl I would have one of those saddle apparatuses with a mechanical dildo on it. Hooter observed that he hears a lot of guys saying "were I a girl I'd definitely…" followed by a number of chauvinistic statements ("sit at home and play with my boobs all day", "douche ever time I pissed", etc.) and there must be a male equivalent that I'm not doing. I thought about it and he's right, the male equivalent of the dildo-saddle is a fake pussy and I don't own a fake pussy. I made some comments about not wanting to jump the gun and buy the first fake pussy I see and then I remembered reading about this amazing thing. A company makes a fake pussy called the LoveLump that's not made out of plastic but is actually grown and is, by definition, alive. Using what we know about genetics they grow this fake pussy and you have to feed it by spraying it with Saline and care for it.
Extremely creepy on a number of fronts. The fact you have to "feed" it twice a day is creepy. It's hard to get around fucking something you have to feed but you can't have a conversation with. Going out of town poses another set of problems. How many dudes are going to roll over to their friends place to feed their fake pussy? Showing up at the airport with one would definitely cause a fiasco.
"What's this, sir?"
"Oh, that's nothing."
"No, it's something, and it looks like you're trying to smuggle some kind of fruit or vegetable into the country!" [guns cocking]
"No, no, no! Look, ok, it's my fake pussy."
"What!"
"It's no big deal, it's my fake pussy, and it's alive, and I've got to feed it. That's all. It's no big deal."
"What do you do with that thing!?"
"I spray it with saline and I fuck it." [guns cocking again]
I think there's also gotta be some psychological issues with keeping this thing around like a pet, feeding it and taking care of it, and then tucking it into bed at night after throwing it into the dog for a quickie.
Hooter took another approach to its creepiness by arguing that the LoveLump is like a gateway drug to further acts of bestiality. I contended that while it is technically alive it's alive like a tree or sea anemone is alive and can't be considered "bestiality".
Naturally, I had to look this thing up again and get some more details about it. It looks like the company who manufactured the LoveLump, EroTech Industries, is no longer in business. Here are the specs on the LoveLump and a picture. I had forgotten this thing had a working dick on it too, which amps up the creepy factor by an enormous number. They call it a "reactive appendage" since piss and semen don't come out of it but if it looks like a dick and works like a dick then it's a fucking dick. Fake pussy or no, I'm not fucking anything with a dick on it.
Anyway, this thing is really bizarre. Here are the specs, I'll let you decide what you think about it.
"LoveLump™ is an artificially-engineered transgenic tissue sculpture. It is created using a variety of animal and vegetable DNA strands, which is then mapped onto a host chromosome palette. It is considered to be one of a handful of new species created from the basic building material now available to us through recent breakthroughs in modern science.
A detailed explanation on the some of the inner-workings of this amazing new technology can be found on our Breakthroughs page.
Model LL-002: LoveLump™ Persephone
Destined to be our most popular model, the Persephone will provide its owner with years of enjoyment!
* Single V-gauge (2cm-10cm) entry port
* Single R-gauge (1cm-7.5cm) entry port
* Single reactive appendage (7cm-10cm circumference) with Stimul-Act
* Duraflex Skinning available in a variety of tone, texture, and hirsutness
Lifespan: 5-7 years
Dimensions: 75cm(L)x35cm(W)x20cm(H)
Weight: 50kg"
Extremely creepy on a number of fronts. The fact you have to "feed" it twice a day is creepy. It's hard to get around fucking something you have to feed but you can't have a conversation with. Going out of town poses another set of problems. How many dudes are going to roll over to their friends place to feed their fake pussy? Showing up at the airport with one would definitely cause a fiasco.
"What's this, sir?"
"Oh, that's nothing."
"No, it's something, and it looks like you're trying to smuggle some kind of fruit or vegetable into the country!" [guns cocking]
"No, no, no! Look, ok, it's my fake pussy."
"What!"
"It's no big deal, it's my fake pussy, and it's alive, and I've got to feed it. That's all. It's no big deal."
"What do you do with that thing!?"
"I spray it with saline and I fuck it." [guns cocking again]
I think there's also gotta be some psychological issues with keeping this thing around like a pet, feeding it and taking care of it, and then tucking it into bed at night after throwing it into the dog for a quickie.
Hooter took another approach to its creepiness by arguing that the LoveLump is like a gateway drug to further acts of bestiality. I contended that while it is technically alive it's alive like a tree or sea anemone is alive and can't be considered "bestiality".
Naturally, I had to look this thing up again and get some more details about it. It looks like the company who manufactured the LoveLump, EroTech Industries, is no longer in business. Here are the specs on the LoveLump and a picture. I had forgotten this thing had a working dick on it too, which amps up the creepy factor by an enormous number. They call it a "reactive appendage" since piss and semen don't come out of it but if it looks like a dick and works like a dick then it's a fucking dick. Fake pussy or no, I'm not fucking anything with a dick on it.
Anyway, this thing is really bizarre. Here are the specs, I'll let you decide what you think about it.
"LoveLump™ is an artificially-engineered transgenic tissue sculpture. It is created using a variety of animal and vegetable DNA strands, which is then mapped onto a host chromosome palette. It is considered to be one of a handful of new species created from the basic building material now available to us through recent breakthroughs in modern science.
A detailed explanation on the some of the inner-workings of this amazing new technology can be found on our Breakthroughs page.
Model LL-002: LoveLump™ Persephone
Destined to be our most popular model, the Persephone will provide its owner with years of enjoyment!
* Single V-gauge (2cm-10cm) entry port
* Single R-gauge (1cm-7.5cm) entry port
* Single reactive appendage (7cm-10cm circumference) with Stimul-Act
* Duraflex Skinning available in a variety of tone, texture, and hirsutness
Lifespan: 5-7 years
Dimensions: 75cm(L)x35cm(W)x20cm(H)
Weight: 50kg"
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