I was in Austin at a closing this past Monday and Tuesday. It was uneventful with the exception of a black guy who not only showed up late but also had a dwarf thumb on his right hand. Creepy does not describe watching this fucker work. His thumb was small enough that he couldn't do the normal opposable thumb activities your everyday non-freak takes for granted like adjusting your glasses or sticking your thumb up your butt hole. For activities such as these he used his index finger which looked startlingly out of place. Despite his deformity he managed to do his job well enough, that is, he seemed to be banging away on his laptop keyboard with the correct veracity to simulate work. Fortunately, they made him work in another office so everyone else wouldn't be distracted by his freak hoof. I'm glad the law firm hosting the closing had this "pink elephant" rule since even my well known affinity for freaks was being tested by this mini-thumbed agitator. Any time this thumbkin was around I couldn't help but wonder how he did things like battle a thumb war or load a whippet. Thankfully I'm back safe in the Big Funky where I can forget people like him are allowed out with the rest of us.