God dammit! Tonight yielded little, if any at all, results in my quest to find the jimmy exposing himself to women in my garage. My inebriated state not withstanding, my sleuthing mission was halted by the new cop my apartment complex (apparently) hires. You know, fuck the fact that women are being raped, as soon as some fucker shows his dick off we hire a fucking piglet. Anyway, I'm sleuthing around all silent like, looking for perverts and what not, and I see somebody hiding in their car. "Bingo!" I thought, "stupid fuck". I prepared my camera and the Sharpie I intended to "tag" him with before shuffling in his direction. Unfortunately, there was no pervert in the car, only the aforementioned piglet, and he was none too pleased with me showing him up. Naturally, I told him to fuck off, and then out loud I apologized and slinked away to my apartment. Fucking cops… I have half a mind to accuse that fucker of being the pervert, I mean, who would suspect the cop? Hate. I'll capture him yet.
Furthermore, reading this over again I realize that it makes little sense given how my whiskey hands stumble over the keyboard. I apologize. But how the fuck else am I to find this pervert? Cold sober? Ha! Last time I was sober it hurt so much I wanted to die.