I was at lunch today and had the two misfortunes of being waited on by the ugliest bitch I've seen still shitting out of a meat asshole and sitting behind a fucker intent on telling the intimate details leading up to his divorce to his lunch partner and any tables in the area.
First, our waiter. Unfortunately, calling this bitch ugly is an insult to the word 'ugly'. This fucking bitch was an abomination. I've taken shits I'd sooner marry than have to look at this serving wench again. She was of modest height with nothing particularly out of the ordinary below the neck. Of course, I'm virtually certain she was covered in tattoos and if ever there was a candidate for pancake tits this bitch was it. It was her head and face which repulsed me so. Her skin was the golden orange hue of someone who regulars a cheap tanning salon. Her face was garnished with a healthy dose of thick hair festering moles which she undoubtedly considers beauty marks. I thought about telling her, "Bitch, they're beauty marks on Cindy Crawford, on you they're carcinoma." Instead of telling her that I just laughed to myself and snorted water out my nose. Her mouth looked like she must have spent the early years of her life sleeping with a football in her mouth. Her two front teeth protruded at a 45 degree angle from her gums and there was enough space between them that she could easily insert some tic-tacs. Her hair appeared normal from the front. Well, it was normal if seeing a woman with a flat top is normal. On the left side of the back of her head was a long rat-tail she had decorated with beads and what looked like lint. The rat-tail was exceptionally nasty given its off center location and it made the whole restaurant feel unclean. She wasn't a terrible waiter from an observational standpoint besides her slow-witted mannerisms like stumbling over words such as entree and appetizer. In the end I don't hate her nearly as much as that fucking ugly ass whore at the Avalon diner. This bitch may have been hideous beyond comparisons but at least she didn't shit on her finger, brush my mouth with it, and call it service.
The fucker sitting behind me was even worse than our waitress because I only saw our waitress a few times during the meal and the fucker behind me whined throughout the meal and his words slithered into my ear and munched on my brain relentlessly. He was telling all the back-story leading up to his divorce. At first I laughed at the fucker's misfortune then he began making me hate. You could tell he still loved his ex-wife and was pretending that everything was all settled and that that part of his life was over but his emotional instability radiated powerfully through the seams in his speech. He was saying shit like: "we really had something special... there was a lot of love between us, well, there still is a lot of love", and, "I thought that wedding in Vegas was going to be something special, she told me she never wanted to be apart", and, "we were really close she just wasn't interested in the same things that I was like telling each other our feelings and always wanting to be close to me, you know?" I wanted to turn around to this asshole, tell him "your wife left you because you're a fucking pussy!", and then spit in his general direction. It was disgusting listening to a grown man pussify himself that way. All the women say they want you to be open with them and share your feelings, but that's bullshit! They have girl friends they can open up with, they want a man around for one thing and one thing only: deep dickin'. Well, deep dickin' and they need someone to nag. This fucking douche bag turned himself into a woman and it's no god damn surprise his wife got rid of him. Plus, how the fuck do you get married in Vegas and then think "yea, this marriage is made in heaven!" Fucking piece of shit. I wonder how such an obviously effeminate dude ever rolled any pussy in the first place? Shit, this "wife" of his is probably just some hooker he knocked up in Vegas and she dumped the kid off on him so she could get back out on the streets.
First, our waiter. Unfortunately, calling this bitch ugly is an insult to the word 'ugly'. This fucking bitch was an abomination. I've taken shits I'd sooner marry than have to look at this serving wench again. She was of modest height with nothing particularly out of the ordinary below the neck. Of course, I'm virtually certain she was covered in tattoos and if ever there was a candidate for pancake tits this bitch was it. It was her head and face which repulsed me so. Her skin was the golden orange hue of someone who regulars a cheap tanning salon. Her face was garnished with a healthy dose of thick hair festering moles which she undoubtedly considers beauty marks. I thought about telling her, "Bitch, they're beauty marks on Cindy Crawford, on you they're carcinoma." Instead of telling her that I just laughed to myself and snorted water out my nose. Her mouth looked like she must have spent the early years of her life sleeping with a football in her mouth. Her two front teeth protruded at a 45 degree angle from her gums and there was enough space between them that she could easily insert some tic-tacs. Her hair appeared normal from the front. Well, it was normal if seeing a woman with a flat top is normal. On the left side of the back of her head was a long rat-tail she had decorated with beads and what looked like lint. The rat-tail was exceptionally nasty given its off center location and it made the whole restaurant feel unclean. She wasn't a terrible waiter from an observational standpoint besides her slow-witted mannerisms like stumbling over words such as entree and appetizer. In the end I don't hate her nearly as much as that fucking ugly ass whore at the Avalon diner. This bitch may have been hideous beyond comparisons but at least she didn't shit on her finger, brush my mouth with it, and call it service.
The fucker sitting behind me was even worse than our waitress because I only saw our waitress a few times during the meal and the fucker behind me whined throughout the meal and his words slithered into my ear and munched on my brain relentlessly. He was telling all the back-story leading up to his divorce. At first I laughed at the fucker's misfortune then he began making me hate. You could tell he still loved his ex-wife and was pretending that everything was all settled and that that part of his life was over but his emotional instability radiated powerfully through the seams in his speech. He was saying shit like: "we really had something special... there was a lot of love between us, well, there still is a lot of love", and, "I thought that wedding in Vegas was going to be something special, she told me she never wanted to be apart", and, "we were really close she just wasn't interested in the same things that I was like telling each other our feelings and always wanting to be close to me, you know?" I wanted to turn around to this asshole, tell him "your wife left you because you're a fucking pussy!", and then spit in his general direction. It was disgusting listening to a grown man pussify himself that way. All the women say they want you to be open with them and share your feelings, but that's bullshit! They have girl friends they can open up with, they want a man around for one thing and one thing only: deep dickin'. Well, deep dickin' and they need someone to nag. This fucking douche bag turned himself into a woman and it's no god damn surprise his wife got rid of him. Plus, how the fuck do you get married in Vegas and then think "yea, this marriage is made in heaven!" Fucking piece of shit. I wonder how such an obviously effeminate dude ever rolled any pussy in the first place? Shit, this "wife" of his is probably just some hooker he knocked up in Vegas and she dumped the kid off on him so she could get back out on the streets.
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