I drank my fucking ass off last night. I felt like dog shit this morning. I mean, I felt fucking terrible. I haven't felt that bad since that time in New Orleans when I had to stay in bed with the cold sweats due to liquor poisoning and had all those dreams about fucking a dinosaur. I didn't get to stay in bed this morning though, I had to attend a closing. So, when I got to the law offices where the closing was going down I searched out a bathroom and threw my guts up. It smelled like ranch dressing.

Jesus Christ! I just got a forwarded email that I had to open 12 times to get to the original content! 12 fucking times! That's ludicrous. Hey, fucking idiots, it's called copy/paste. You're wasting my time and every other mother fucker you piss off by sending this shit to; at least have the goddamn courtesy to copy the original forward and paste it into a new message so you don't further fuck everyone with your 10 deep forward, cocksucker!