This morning finds me at a bullshit seminar in South Big Funky. The inconsiderate fucks who put on the seminar made us drive all the way to south Jesus for this shit instead of renting out a room at a decent hotel in West Big Funky where all the beautiful people are. When I got here, fashionably late of course, I sat with all the cool people at the very back of the seminar hall. I am sitting alone.
All the people that suck are here. The seminar is being hosted by two bull lesbians of the "go bear hunting with a switch" variety. There's a fucknose here wearing generic, white tennis shows, I made a song for him.
"Jimmy white hooves,
Jimmy white hooves,
Why are your hooves so white this day?"
Repeat.
I hate that I am here.
There are probably two and a half as many seats as there are people. Still, all the black people are sitting together in front of me. The racial prejudice is tangible. The black woman in front of me gave me a nasty look when I let fly an exuberant "Hollah!" at the beginning of the seminar. Bitch.
Also of note, all the Jews I know here are sitting as far from one another as possible. They hate each other and will talk shit to anyone that wants to listen. They have a captive audience in me. I love to listen to their hate, then I find another Jew and relate what I've heard so that the hate continues to cultivate.
All the white people are sitting quietly and paying attention. Losers. I'm listening to my iPod so I can't even hear what the lesbians are saying. It doesn't matter though, I know what they're saying sucks.
I was staring at two bitches for the first couple of hours. I couldn't see their faces but they looked hot from behind. I hoped they would turn around and see me staring at them and dig my shit. Then they stood up at the first break and I saw that they were just a couple of fat Mexicans. What a waste of two hours.