MOTHER FUCK! I knew, I knew with every fiber of my being that I would hate this shit eating holiday. Still, I tried to enjoy myself. I wanted to at least put up the facade that I was having a good time for my parents' sake, my sisters being in town and all. As expected, things went south and I had to vamp before my boiling hatepot rolled over and forced me to exact years worth of revenge on my enemies who masquerade safely behind the familial veil.
The lunch was fine, we ate at the country club and there was no shortage of food. After lunch is when I made the grievous error that has left me drunk with hate. I suggested to Il Duce that we watch Terminator 3 since he hadn't seen it. Originally, I had intended to watch the movie with him at my domicile, my Faraday cage that instead of shielding me from electric fields shields me from all the things that make me hate. Il Duce wanted to watch the movie at the family manor for some reason I can no longer remember since the hate virus in me ate that portion of my memory.
When I arrived at the family manor I could sense things were turning against me. My mother had all the lights turned on in the den where movie watching has traditionally occurred since that's where the big TV and the surround sound system reside. It turned out my mother and my sister were going to be categorizing a bunch of shit for some fucking reason in the den while we were going to watch the movie. Let me paint you this picture: me and Il Duce sitting in the back of the room watching the television, Arnold trying to protect Nick Stahl and Claire Daines from a superior Terminator. I know there was heart pounding mayhem occurring on screen because I saw the movie in the theatre when it was released last July. That's the only reason I know what was going on though because in the den of our family manor where Il Duce and I were trying to enjoy a movie my mother and sister had all the lights turned on washing out the television picture, they spent the entirety of the movie talking to each other, filing pictures, and typing on a laptop. Well, they didn't do that the whole movie, on several occasions my sister would look up from her typing and ask me what was happening* and/or tell everyone that something that happened on screen was stupid.* After the movie ended I was so seething pissed I was having trouble breathing*, and my sister had the fucking audacity to tell us "that was two hours I'll never get back."* There is no expression in the tongues of man to explain to you how utterly insulting and infuriating that statement was to me.*
Terminator 3 is a pure action movie; the plot is there merely to aid in transitioning from one action scene to the next. A good action movie consists of plenty of action, a plot with few enough holes as to not break the viewer's attention, and characters the audience cares about enough to not want to see them killed. No one can argue that Terminator 3 lacks in the action department, there are people dying, cars being blown up, and buildings being destroyed throughout its 90 minute length. There are certainly plot holes in the movie, but the entire plot is based on time travel, if you can't get your mind around the fact that virtually anything is possible you don't need to be watching the movie. What separates Terminator 3 from a movie like Die Hard is the characters, you just don't get as attached to Nick Stahl and Claire Daines as you do to Bruce Willis (for example). On the other hand, while you're not completely attached to Stahl and Daines you certainly are interested in their survival and you're absolutely focused on Arnold. The Terminator, played by Arnold in all three films, is an American icon and firmly ingrained in our society. You want to see his underdog, "obsolete model", character survive the day. With that out of the way...
How god damn stupid is it to make a judgment call about a movie you didn't even watch? How god damn insulting is it to other people to talk throughout said movie? How god damn insulting is it to interrupt other people's experience to ask questions because you've been busy doing other shit instead of watching the film? It's a fucking outrage, it's fucking inexcusable, and it's fucking more than I can bare. Two hours you'll never get back? First, the movie was 90 minutes long, and second, you've stolen a whole day from me I'll never get back. Furthermore, I'd give up all the days I have left to not have to go through that experience again. Shave my head, tattoo my arm, and walk me to the fucking gas chambers, because I'm fucking done with this garbage.
Happy Thanksgiving? Shit. Happy fucking Hatesgiving fool. And I give my hate to you.
*At this point I had to stop writing, go outside, and scream my hate out so as not to be utterly consumed
The lunch was fine, we ate at the country club and there was no shortage of food. After lunch is when I made the grievous error that has left me drunk with hate. I suggested to Il Duce that we watch Terminator 3 since he hadn't seen it. Originally, I had intended to watch the movie with him at my domicile, my Faraday cage that instead of shielding me from electric fields shields me from all the things that make me hate. Il Duce wanted to watch the movie at the family manor for some reason I can no longer remember since the hate virus in me ate that portion of my memory.
When I arrived at the family manor I could sense things were turning against me. My mother had all the lights turned on in the den where movie watching has traditionally occurred since that's where the big TV and the surround sound system reside. It turned out my mother and my sister were going to be categorizing a bunch of shit for some fucking reason in the den while we were going to watch the movie. Let me paint you this picture: me and Il Duce sitting in the back of the room watching the television, Arnold trying to protect Nick Stahl and Claire Daines from a superior Terminator. I know there was heart pounding mayhem occurring on screen because I saw the movie in the theatre when it was released last July. That's the only reason I know what was going on though because in the den of our family manor where Il Duce and I were trying to enjoy a movie my mother and sister had all the lights turned on washing out the television picture, they spent the entirety of the movie talking to each other, filing pictures, and typing on a laptop. Well, they didn't do that the whole movie, on several occasions my sister would look up from her typing and ask me what was happening* and/or tell everyone that something that happened on screen was stupid.* After the movie ended I was so seething pissed I was having trouble breathing*, and my sister had the fucking audacity to tell us "that was two hours I'll never get back."* There is no expression in the tongues of man to explain to you how utterly insulting and infuriating that statement was to me.*
Terminator 3 is a pure action movie; the plot is there merely to aid in transitioning from one action scene to the next. A good action movie consists of plenty of action, a plot with few enough holes as to not break the viewer's attention, and characters the audience cares about enough to not want to see them killed. No one can argue that Terminator 3 lacks in the action department, there are people dying, cars being blown up, and buildings being destroyed throughout its 90 minute length. There are certainly plot holes in the movie, but the entire plot is based on time travel, if you can't get your mind around the fact that virtually anything is possible you don't need to be watching the movie. What separates Terminator 3 from a movie like Die Hard is the characters, you just don't get as attached to Nick Stahl and Claire Daines as you do to Bruce Willis (for example). On the other hand, while you're not completely attached to Stahl and Daines you certainly are interested in their survival and you're absolutely focused on Arnold. The Terminator, played by Arnold in all three films, is an American icon and firmly ingrained in our society. You want to see his underdog, "obsolete model", character survive the day. With that out of the way...
How god damn stupid is it to make a judgment call about a movie you didn't even watch? How god damn insulting is it to other people to talk throughout said movie? How god damn insulting is it to interrupt other people's experience to ask questions because you've been busy doing other shit instead of watching the film? It's a fucking outrage, it's fucking inexcusable, and it's fucking more than I can bare. Two hours you'll never get back? First, the movie was 90 minutes long, and second, you've stolen a whole day from me I'll never get back. Furthermore, I'd give up all the days I have left to not have to go through that experience again. Shave my head, tattoo my arm, and walk me to the fucking gas chambers, because I'm fucking done with this garbage.
Happy Thanksgiving? Shit. Happy fucking Hatesgiving fool. And I give my hate to you.
*At this point I had to stop writing, go outside, and scream my hate out so as not to be utterly consumed
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