In tandem with pouring myself the evening's last cocktail, I'm reading the latest “Fuck You” letter from the managerial staff at my apartment complex. These “Fuck You” letters, as I call them, have become increasingly common to find shoved in the cracks of doors throughout the complex. Invariably, these letters describe some alarming barbarity about to befall all the residents followed thereafter with a hollow apology. Today's letter is more hate-worthy than most since it describes a whole weekend of torture. What follows is the body of the “Fuck You” letter.
Dear Resident (s):
The City of Houston [The Big Funky] just advised us that the water will be turned off to the entire property for the next several hours. We apologize for the short notice, but we just received notification 30 minutes prior to cut off.
Center Point Energy has also advised us that on Sunday, November, 16, 2003 the electricity to the entire building will be off from 8:00am to [approximately] 12:00 (noon).
Again, we apologize for the inconvenience, but thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.
That's right, in 3 hours I'm without power, they might as well cut to the chase and just slit my throat right now. Merely transcribing this letter has brought me to a Hulk-esque rage. All my coherent thoughts are colliding with more primal urges that involve various brutalities being inflicted on the, so called, management team of this dump of an apartment complex. Mind you, when I received this letter the power was already cut off to the building, coincidentally, during one of the many common outages experienced at this sack. It's gotten to where I'm loathe to even set the clock on the oven and microwave anymore given that I'll just be setting them again in a day or two. If I were just squatting here or not paying any substantial rent I could see past this shit, but this is a very nice place in a very nice area of The Big Funky. It's un-god-damn-acceptable, and they've finally crossed the line.
The list of atrocities committed against the tenants by this fucking place has grown quite large in the 11 months since my tenur began here. Since I've lived here I've not had water on 7 separate occasions, only 1 of which was I even warned of. Let me tell you how much fun it is to wake up for work and not have running water, it's so much fun I've thought about gouging out my own eyes and cutting my dick off when it happens. I would say that on average I'm without power 1 to 2 days a month, for varying lengths of time. Waking up in a sweat to dead silence is a blast, even if you could go back to sleep in the sweltering heat and maddening silence, you must stay awake for the power to come back on so you can re-set your alarm clock for work. Naturally, power failure is no excuse for tardiness at the workplace. There have been rapes in the parking garage along with cars being broken into left and right. Last week the right side of my closet collapsed and it took the management 3 days to get it fixed because "they forgot", even after telling them about it twice in-person. The management claimed at one point that I had borrowed their key to my apartment and lost it. Obviously, if management didn't have a key to my place I must have lost it. Fucking idiots. So I gave them my key for them to duplicate. Three weeks later, after numerous calls and having to leave my apartment unlocked every day I was returned my original key. “Did you make duplicates?”, I asked. “No”, they replied, “it turns out we had the key to your place all along.” You dumb fucking cocksucker. I do you a fucking solid by leaving my key with you, and you take that opportunity to lie to me and leave my possessions up for grabs to anyone who might happen by my apartment. Why don't you just lay your hands on me and complete the insult. How can you look me in the eyes without laughing? It's sick and enraging.
There are additional atrocities, though, I feel as though the ones already listed convey the situation well enough, plus my hands are shaking so much I can't type anymore. Filled to the fucking brim with hate.
I didn't want to do it since I live here, but they leave me no choice, my apartment complex is now in my hatebox. I've never had to put the place where I live in my hatebox, but I do it now because they're pushing on me, they're making me hate. I'm nearing a dangerous infinite loop by doing this. On the one hand, I must put this place in my hatebox, they've forced my hand. At the same time, I hate that I have to put my home in my hatebox. I begin to hate the fact that I must hate, launching a circularity that only draws to a close once I'm permanently jacked into a catheter. We all make our beds and we must sleep in them, I made my bed in hate and now I will pay the cost. Someone should toss a fucking bomb in this place and burn it to the ground, I don't even give a shit if I'm in it when it burns, what's the difference anymore.
Dear Resident (s):
The City of Houston [The Big Funky] just advised us that the water will be turned off to the entire property for the next several hours. We apologize for the short notice, but we just received notification 30 minutes prior to cut off.
Center Point Energy has also advised us that on Sunday, November, 16, 2003 the electricity to the entire building will be off from 8:00am to [approximately] 12:00 (noon).
Again, we apologize for the inconvenience, but thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.
That's right, in 3 hours I'm without power, they might as well cut to the chase and just slit my throat right now. Merely transcribing this letter has brought me to a Hulk-esque rage. All my coherent thoughts are colliding with more primal urges that involve various brutalities being inflicted on the, so called, management team of this dump of an apartment complex. Mind you, when I received this letter the power was already cut off to the building, coincidentally, during one of the many common outages experienced at this sack. It's gotten to where I'm loathe to even set the clock on the oven and microwave anymore given that I'll just be setting them again in a day or two. If I were just squatting here or not paying any substantial rent I could see past this shit, but this is a very nice place in a very nice area of The Big Funky. It's un-god-damn-acceptable, and they've finally crossed the line.
The list of atrocities committed against the tenants by this fucking place has grown quite large in the 11 months since my tenur began here. Since I've lived here I've not had water on 7 separate occasions, only 1 of which was I even warned of. Let me tell you how much fun it is to wake up for work and not have running water, it's so much fun I've thought about gouging out my own eyes and cutting my dick off when it happens. I would say that on average I'm without power 1 to 2 days a month, for varying lengths of time. Waking up in a sweat to dead silence is a blast, even if you could go back to sleep in the sweltering heat and maddening silence, you must stay awake for the power to come back on so you can re-set your alarm clock for work. Naturally, power failure is no excuse for tardiness at the workplace. There have been rapes in the parking garage along with cars being broken into left and right. Last week the right side of my closet collapsed and it took the management 3 days to get it fixed because "they forgot", even after telling them about it twice in-person. The management claimed at one point that I had borrowed their key to my apartment and lost it. Obviously, if management didn't have a key to my place I must have lost it. Fucking idiots. So I gave them my key for them to duplicate. Three weeks later, after numerous calls and having to leave my apartment unlocked every day I was returned my original key. “Did you make duplicates?”, I asked. “No”, they replied, “it turns out we had the key to your place all along.” You dumb fucking cocksucker. I do you a fucking solid by leaving my key with you, and you take that opportunity to lie to me and leave my possessions up for grabs to anyone who might happen by my apartment. Why don't you just lay your hands on me and complete the insult. How can you look me in the eyes without laughing? It's sick and enraging.
There are additional atrocities, though, I feel as though the ones already listed convey the situation well enough, plus my hands are shaking so much I can't type anymore. Filled to the fucking brim with hate.
I didn't want to do it since I live here, but they leave me no choice, my apartment complex is now in my hatebox. I've never had to put the place where I live in my hatebox, but I do it now because they're pushing on me, they're making me hate. I'm nearing a dangerous infinite loop by doing this. On the one hand, I must put this place in my hatebox, they've forced my hand. At the same time, I hate that I have to put my home in my hatebox. I begin to hate the fact that I must hate, launching a circularity that only draws to a close once I'm permanently jacked into a catheter. We all make our beds and we must sleep in them, I made my bed in hate and now I will pay the cost. Someone should toss a fucking bomb in this place and burn it to the ground, I don't even give a shit if I'm in it when it burns, what's the difference anymore.
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