You know what the future of porn is? Well I do. For years there has been virtual stagnation on the creative side of the porn business. For years it seemed that each new advancement in porn was simply "more dudes".
"Chuck, I want something new! Something that will knock everyone on their collective asses!"
"Well, I've been batting around an idea...but I gotta warn you it's pretty groundbreaking."
"Give it to me Chuck! I don't care how crazy it is...give it to me!"
"Ok...get this.... We put more dudes in the scene."
"More dudes?"
"Yep, like 5 or 6 mother fuckers on a bitch! Fuckin' cocks everywhere! So many dudes that dudes are just standing around occasionally jerkin' off and laughin' about shit!"
"Yes! That's genius!"
For years this "more dudes" style of the adult entertainment industry has threatened to destroy the institution and has led many critics to consider the golden age of porn long dead and predict the medium's imminent recession into obscurity. To my utter delight, I have the answer. I was takin' a shit and the riddle unwound before me, an epiphany of glorious pronouncement. I now wield the key that opens the door to the future of porn. Imagine this scene: We have Jenna Jameson or any of the other porn starlettes and an obscure male counterpart who you may have seen in a Preparation H commercial. Scene begins... blah, blah, blah... shitty dialogue... blah, blah, blah... blowjobs, ass-eatings, missionary, pile-drivers... blah, blah, blah.... And then the dude goes for the money shot. But this isn't your grandmother's money shot. No pulling out and spraying on the lower back or on the tits, this is all new. The dude pulls out, spreads Jenna's cheeks, puts his lips to her bungus, and throws-up. .....ahhh.... Booya! That's right, he barks up her poop shoot! And fills it too, there's fuckin' puke flyin' and shit mixed with puke. I'm talking fuckin' crazy! People are going to be screamin' and carrying on. The ecstasy will be veritably palpable. You heard it here first. The future of porn is dudes pukin' up girls asses. That's a Deuce Goose original folks, so Vivid, Extreme, John Stagliano, Max Hardcore, et al: this shit is copyrighted yo!
"Chuck, I want something new! Something that will knock everyone on their collective asses!"
"Well, I've been batting around an idea...but I gotta warn you it's pretty groundbreaking."
"Give it to me Chuck! I don't care how crazy it is...give it to me!"
"Ok...get this.... We put more dudes in the scene."
"More dudes?"
"Yep, like 5 or 6 mother fuckers on a bitch! Fuckin' cocks everywhere! So many dudes that dudes are just standing around occasionally jerkin' off and laughin' about shit!"
"Yes! That's genius!"
For years this "more dudes" style of the adult entertainment industry has threatened to destroy the institution and has led many critics to consider the golden age of porn long dead and predict the medium's imminent recession into obscurity. To my utter delight, I have the answer. I was takin' a shit and the riddle unwound before me, an epiphany of glorious pronouncement. I now wield the key that opens the door to the future of porn. Imagine this scene: We have Jenna Jameson or any of the other porn starlettes and an obscure male counterpart who you may have seen in a Preparation H commercial. Scene begins... blah, blah, blah... shitty dialogue... blah, blah, blah... blowjobs, ass-eatings, missionary, pile-drivers... blah, blah, blah.... And then the dude goes for the money shot. But this isn't your grandmother's money shot. No pulling out and spraying on the lower back or on the tits, this is all new. The dude pulls out, spreads Jenna's cheeks, puts his lips to her bungus, and throws-up. .....ahhh.... Booya! That's right, he barks up her poop shoot! And fills it too, there's fuckin' puke flyin' and shit mixed with puke. I'm talking fuckin' crazy! People are going to be screamin' and carrying on. The ecstasy will be veritably palpable. You heard it here first. The future of porn is dudes pukin' up girls asses. That's a Deuce Goose original folks, so Vivid, Extreme, John Stagliano, Max Hardcore, et al: this shit is copyrighted yo!
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