I can't fucking believe I forgot to explain what happened to me at lunch yesterday. The hate flowed and flowed.
We were eating at the Avalon Diner and our waitress was a grotesque older woman with cigarette breath. This bitch was gross, the kind of woman who if you saw on the streets you'd turn away from her hideousness. She called everyone 'baby' and laughed her throaty, cigarette-lunged, laugh every time she came to the table. I ordered the buffalo style chicken tenders with ranch. The tenders were a new item and since most everything else there is delicious I decided to try them.
We eat at the Avalon Diner at least once a week and every time before this the service has been prompt and the food delicious. Well, yesterday the service was abominable. Our food finally arrived after 30 minutes. The bitch had already forgotten my salad and hadn't filled my water either. On the plus side, there was a shit-load of chicken tenders on the plate. Big Steve and Slick didn't fare so well. Big Steve ordered the fried chicken and got a plate with a fried chicken wing, a back, and a neck. Slick ordered the meatloaf, and got a handful sized loaf of meat product. Obviously, I don't give a shit about how they got fucked since all that's important is how I got fucked. And I got fucked indeed. The tenders were delivered with Honey Mustard and Blue Cheese. The Honey Mustard was what I ordered with my salad, the salad that never was. I despise blue cheese, all those hidden chunks of puke in it, so it was appropriate that at this awful meal my delicious ranch was substituted with blue cheese. I asked our hag waitress for my ranch. You see, I eat all of my buffalo-style food with ranch and only ranch and without ranch I eat it not at all. So, when the bitch showed back up at the table after 10 minutes of me staring at my cooling tenders and told me that they were out of ranch at 11:30 on Tuesday morning, I almost tore her fucking eyes out and would have too if she didn't have that whole Medusa thing working. No fucking ranch! At a fucking restaurant! At 11:30 in the morning! On the first working day of the week! Bitch, are you fucking lying to me! Are you jimmies that fucking stupid! My hate was palpable and she knew it. I couldn't even say anything to her. Buffalo tenders without ranch is like a hamburger without a bun. I ate them, and each tender was like a gallon of hate fuel for my hate engine. In retrospect, I should have eaten everything and then, before we left, walked up to waitress and thrown up all over her. A real wrath of God kind of spewing throw-up that would cover her disgusting ass in partially digested chicken tenders and blood. Fuck you cunt, I can't even be more offensive!
We were eating at the Avalon Diner and our waitress was a grotesque older woman with cigarette breath. This bitch was gross, the kind of woman who if you saw on the streets you'd turn away from her hideousness. She called everyone 'baby' and laughed her throaty, cigarette-lunged, laugh every time she came to the table. I ordered the buffalo style chicken tenders with ranch. The tenders were a new item and since most everything else there is delicious I decided to try them.
We eat at the Avalon Diner at least once a week and every time before this the service has been prompt and the food delicious. Well, yesterday the service was abominable. Our food finally arrived after 30 minutes. The bitch had already forgotten my salad and hadn't filled my water either. On the plus side, there was a shit-load of chicken tenders on the plate. Big Steve and Slick didn't fare so well. Big Steve ordered the fried chicken and got a plate with a fried chicken wing, a back, and a neck. Slick ordered the meatloaf, and got a handful sized loaf of meat product. Obviously, I don't give a shit about how they got fucked since all that's important is how I got fucked. And I got fucked indeed. The tenders were delivered with Honey Mustard and Blue Cheese. The Honey Mustard was what I ordered with my salad, the salad that never was. I despise blue cheese, all those hidden chunks of puke in it, so it was appropriate that at this awful meal my delicious ranch was substituted with blue cheese. I asked our hag waitress for my ranch. You see, I eat all of my buffalo-style food with ranch and only ranch and without ranch I eat it not at all. So, when the bitch showed back up at the table after 10 minutes of me staring at my cooling tenders and told me that they were out of ranch at 11:30 on Tuesday morning, I almost tore her fucking eyes out and would have too if she didn't have that whole Medusa thing working. No fucking ranch! At a fucking restaurant! At 11:30 in the morning! On the first working day of the week! Bitch, are you fucking lying to me! Are you jimmies that fucking stupid! My hate was palpable and she knew it. I couldn't even say anything to her. Buffalo tenders without ranch is like a hamburger without a bun. I ate them, and each tender was like a gallon of hate fuel for my hate engine. In retrospect, I should have eaten everything and then, before we left, walked up to waitress and thrown up all over her. A real wrath of God kind of spewing throw-up that would cover her disgusting ass in partially digested chicken tenders and blood. Fuck you cunt, I can't even be more offensive!
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